I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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