So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
