yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
