what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
