This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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