people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
