Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
