I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
