For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I'm at about main and main street
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
The feeling are messing with the penis
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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