why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
