What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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