I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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