just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
