I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
