Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
