But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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