Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
