i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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