Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
