No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
My ATM looks so different sober.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
