I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Found your dick twin last night
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I am naked and annoyed.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
