i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
