have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
