apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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