Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
