He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
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