Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
That was an excessively violent trivia night
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize