I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I am puke
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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