im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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