I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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