Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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