i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
