i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
