you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
