Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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