What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
