I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
