I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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