2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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