guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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