True but thats because hes a fetus.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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