Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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