im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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