Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
