this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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