do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
