Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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