did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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