all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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