girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
