K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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