look no pants
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
