forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
