I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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