i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
