I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
