What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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