Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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