Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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