Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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