I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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