so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
