I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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