im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
